Be Aggressive! Be, Be Aggressive! A-g-g-r-e-s-s-i-v-e ...

Last Friday Addie was injured during cheerleading. Not one, but two flyers fell on her, one accidentally landing straight on the small of her back, just inches from her spine.  She was unable to lean forward or away from the injured side, all weekend long, without sharp shoots of pain going up her back.  She got in the car and just cried, and this is the same girl who had a double break in her forearm (hand perpendicular to her arm), and went 9 hours until they set it, without shedding a tear.  She is feeling a little more flexibility today, but won’t be able to stunt for a few days, at least.  

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I don’t do this a lot, but I’m about to call out a little 😉.  

This decision to rest her back was met with the silent treatment from some of her teammates and body language that was, well, sub par.  Now mommas, this is where you come in, because no amount of Mentor Minutes, anti-bullying campaigns, random acts of kindness, or poignant hashtags will make a dent in this type of behavior.  I know teenage shunning isn’t the worst thing ever, but it’s unbecoming and it bugs.  So, Show up.  Parent.  Regulate that teenage eye roll.  Lead with class, not sass, especially. when it comes to your language (about anything) and your character.  Cause I’m about to go bonkers 😂😜.  #mykidsarentperfecteither But as we say in my house when my precious peeps get out of line...

“Willmer kids, you better check yo self before you wreck yo self.” #imallovermykids #betternotbemeaninmyhousewillmerkids 

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I’m still cutting my teeth in the ways of the teenager.  However, I have made a few observations over the past 3 years:  Teenagers are professionals at making mountains out of mole hills.  They are adept at putting on magnifying glasses and zooming in on the strangest things and then overreacting to those things. They are an emotional roller coaster, they find strength in numbers, and they find comfort often in following the crowd.  

I’m focusing my attention on the parents, mainly the moms here because, I am one.  I remember when I was a mom of 5 kids under 7.  The mentor moms in my life told me, parenting babies is physically exhausting.  Parenting toddlers and elementary aged kids is mentally & physically.  Parenting teenagers is emotionally exhausting.   So much "exhausting" going on as a mom!  

Parenting is hard throughout each stage, and it’s 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.  It is easy to let seemingly little things slide.  Therein lies the danger, many little things add up to one big problem-kids who haven’t been called out on their behavior.  Its is so much easier to meet their physical needs, to make sure they have all their gear for cheerleading or the right cleats for baseball, while not tending to their emotional needs.  We teach them when they are two, if they bite another kid in the nursery or when they yell, "No!" at another 2 year old for taking their toy, that those are poor choices.  Why stop instructing them when they are 12?  They need the same constructive parenting from 12-18, as they did when they were 2.  Maybe in our exhaustion we check out, or maybe because we don’t have the mental strength to fight teenage battles, our resolve fades.  Going toe-to-toe with a teenager can be a rollercoaster, but I'm learning, it is so important to rise up to the challenge.  Our teens need our disapproval when they misstep, just as much as they need our kudos when they sparkle in life. To not call them on the carpet when they are dishonoring or disrespectful, just gives their choices a silent stamp of approval.  I often need to check myself, before I wreck myself when it comes to my parenting.  I can get caught in cruise control and forget each day has its fair share of teachable moments.  Do I take them?  I need to.  

In regards to the situation with Addie and her teammates, it would be easy to place the blame soley on the girls that did the ignoring/shunning, but to be honest, I see that as normal teenage behavior that just hasn't been properly shaped by their influencers at home.  I place the bulk of my frustrations with the parents.  As parents, we simply have to exhaust ourselves in raising good people.  the buck stops with us.

Encourage being a good human, by having your teens text a friend when that friend is sick or misses school.  Tell your teen to find one teacher today, and give them a compliment.  Buy a $1 cookie mix at Target and have them make cookies for someone in your neighborhood.  Foster the kindness into them.  Teaching my two teenagers not to make mountains out of mole hills and to keep their chins up when they are hurt, is one of my biggest jobs as a mom of a teenagers.  Sometimes I miss potty training. 

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Our Pastor shared this weekend, that when discouragement comes your way, to send it to voicemail because you never have a bad day you didn’t choose.  Addie texted me in the middle of her day today and said, “Like water off a ducks back, mom.  I’m sending a lot of things to voicemail today!”  Girl, haters gonna hate and like your dad said, you gotta moveon.com (middle aged man talk 😂).  She laughed and she won the day because we don’t have time for this sort of mess up in our house. Life is too good and shunning isn’t pretty.  #bekind #raisegoodhumans #myhashtagsdonthelpmatters 😂 

* sorry for the Title, I couldn't think of a better cheer, besides "Jump! Shake your booty, Jump, Jump shake your booty!"