Ridin' Shotgun

Today, around 2pm, I was driving to pick up the girls from school.  When I stopped at the first 4-way stop sign, a little dog came trotting across the street right in front of my car.  I waited to see if it was clear.  Checked my side and rear view mirrors and couldn't locate the dog.  The lady across the way held her hand up for me to stop-I wasn't in the clear yet. So, with no one waiting behind me I figured I would get out of the car to try to see where the dog went, only when I opened my car door to get out the dog jumped in.  The lady across the street rolled down her window and yelled, "Oh, I'm so glad you found your dog!"  I said, "This isn't my dog?!"  She said, "Oh, and it just jumped right into your car like it knew you.  You can just take it to your back yard until you locate the owner."  I'm thinking,   in my not too animal accommodating mind, "That is a great idea, but have you seen how many people I have in my car already and do you have any idea that more little people are about to get in?" So, I lie, and joyfully respond, "No worries, it's all good. I had a dog once. I can figure this out. Yeah, my backyard that would be a great place."

I sit back down into my car, still believing my own lies. "I can do this.  This is no big deal." I look into the back seat and this is what I see...

This golden bundle of joy was licking Son's face and had Gwenyth in a nervous frenzy.  I start to pull away and the dog hops into my lap.  I used to wonder about people who drive with dogs in their laps and now that person is me???  But only with some one's dog, who I don't know.  It was awkward.  It was very uncomfortable, especially when the dog put it paws on my steering wheel mid-drive.  I'm not a huge fan of touching animals-it has been well documented on this blog, (here, here, here, and here-that's 4 examples too many).  I have a cautious animal kingdom spirit.  I don't know why animals can't sense it.  I know I am not giving off a "come hither" vibe.  I can't be.  But there I am, driving around with a dog in my lap and its paws on my steering wheel.  This is also about the time I stopped believing my previous lies.  I found my roots, my good worrying roots or as I often like to phrase it - "being realistic."  "What if this dog has rabies?  What if it goes to the bathroom on me?  What if it bites someone?  We are all trapped in here with a stranger dog. What if it tries to jump out of the window? Is it getting enough air?  I'm having a hard time breathing is it?" I get to the next stop sign and have to turn left.  I would have alerted my new canine friend to scoochie on over, but I was too nervous and don't speak dog lingo well while driving.  Everyone in the intersection waiting for me to turn, is probably rolling their eyes at me, "There goes one of those women who like to drive with their dogs on their lap. How could talking on a cell phone be more distracting than that? What is she doing?" As I get into the intersection and turn my wheel, our 5th/guest passenger, wasn't as adept and steering the wheel as I, slowly he rolled toward the side by the door.  "Oh dear! What if he gets stuck?! or starts sniffing my leg/ankles....?" He was down there not for long, as he quickly leaped back onto my lap!  I think to myself, half terrified and confused as to what I was doing, "What is happening here?,"and in whose right mind did I make this choice to drive around with a stranger dog on my lap.  I say out loud, "Is this for real?  IS. THIS. FOR. REAL?" Titus, quips back, "That doggie be for real momma. He be big and sitting on your legs." Did I forget to mention that the dog wasn't very little.  Oh yeah, driving with it was the equivalent to watching a movie while seated behind a really tall person with good posture.

Somehow, actually by the power of God, we make it to the school.  I get Titus out of his seat belt, because he is the closest thing to an animal whisperer I have at my disposal.  I said, kind and lovingly, "Please buddy, help bring the dog back to sit with you.  Pet it and say nice things to it."  So, he tries.  He gives a slight tug.  No luck.  Pulls a little harder.  Still no luck.  He says, "I think he likes momma."  How could he?  I am awkward near pets.  I have been awkward and stiff since he jumped into my car. But there he sat, heavy and on my lap.  

As Addie approaches our car, her eyes get as big as saucers.  "We got a dog!  Look (to her friends) we got a dog!!"  No, no, no, no.  This isn't OUR dog, he just hopped in our car and likes to sit on my lap." "Ohhhh, can we keep him?"  I haven't even thought that far ahead.  I am wondering, "How are we going to get home?  How are we going to live the next 25 minutes in this car until Emma gets out of school?  Can Addie get in the car with out the dog jumping out?  What if it has to go to the bathroom?" Finally, I get a moment to look at its tag.  "Fluffy."  It is a boy dog named "Fluffy."  I call the number and I get a fax machine sound.  Oh-no.  I try again.  I try one more time and this time I get a person.  She is so thankful I found her dog and said I could keep him until she got off of work.  "Oh, that sounds unmanageable great.  Now I had to make sure I didn't lose "Fluffy" because I am in charge of keeping him safe until she gets to our house.  

(on our drive home-we worked out a better seating arrangement)

Finally, 45 minutes later, after I pick up both girls, we pull into the driveway.  I quickly dish out orders responsibilities.  Titus and Addie are responsible for finding our cat Ruthie and getting her into the garage.  Emma is in charge of getting Fluffy into the backyard.  I am in charge of watching it all unfold seamlessly before me.  Titus and Addie quickly brought back the report that Ruthie was out on the town.  So, we brought Fluffy back through our side gate and treated him like he was a Willmer.  He got tugged on, nicknamed a lot, kissed, hugged, Gwenyth liked to point out his eyes & his nose, he was put in a wagon, ran some relay races, and almost made it into the trampoline...I do have some control here :).  Ruthie came home shortly after, we handled it like a minor emergency, but my animal whisperers picked her up quickly and brought her safely into the garage.  

We had a lovely time being dog owners.

When the owner came to pick Fluffy up, she said, "My your have your hands full."  "I do," I said, used to how overwhelmed people feel when they meet the 6 of us at our front door.  The kids gave Fluffy hugs goodbye, and planned a trip to see him as soon as possible.

  I'm not all that comfortable with animals, but somewhere deep inside me I've got the aura of a dog whisperer.  Tell me do you know anyone else who has opened their door to check on the safety of a dog and had it jump in before they could get out?  I think not.  That kind of love right there is reserved for good-with-animal-people like me :)  

I'm waiting for a large bird to land on my shoulder.  That would be even more awkward than today and now that I have said that out loud, it will probably happen this weekend.  I will keep you posted.