Crumbs

My twins love to put things in their mouth. You name it, it has probably spent some time been chewed on by Gwenyth or Nehemiah. Things that don't even taste good: rocks, sequins, cardboard, paper, leaves, barrettes, shoes, etc. Last week, I was under the kitchen table, with my hand held broom & dust pan, trying to get to the leftover crumbs first. There I was amongst Titus' flurry of food that didn't make it into his mouth...dried up rice, hardened bread crumbs, & green bean remnants. Within seconds, Gwenyth was beside me grabbing at every little piece of food she could get her chubby hands on, feverishly trying to beat me to them.
I move fast, but not as fast as my determined little pistol. I would sweep the leftovers away from her and she would instantly follow. I would sweep them into a pile and she would ransack it. I would try to get them into the dust pan and she would grab them from out of the pan. Finally, feeling over-challenged & out-matched, I said to her,
"Don't want that!" 
'Huh? Did I just say, Don't want that?!' There I am on my hands and knees, cleaning up crumbs & leftovers that I can't get my 10 month old to stop pursuing.; I could have said, "stop!" or "Yucky!" or the obvious, "No, no," but I didn't. All I said was "Don't want that."

God has had an interesting way of finding me and pulling me close with all these kids. I know this is Him speaking to me. I sat there on the floor and the thought was as clear as day. Lindsay, don't want what won't fill you up and make you FULL. It is so easy to want. To want that cute sweater hanging in Anthropolie, that amazing kitchen table, the free time to go on a jog, the approval of people around me, to have kids who act perfectly (especially in grocery store isles), and the list goes on. God used my little 10 month old, to remind me that all too often I feverishly go after the "crumbs," scavenging for leftovers. He has a banquet table full of good for me, good that will nourish my soul & feed my core and yet there I am time & time again, scrounging around by his feet, on the floor, picking up scraps.
He speaks clearly, "Loosen the grip, cease the pursuit..."
Simply put, by a Father who has so much more in mind for methan I could ever ask or imagine, "Don't want that."
With eyes humbly extended upward, a heart to match and arms outstretched, I soak in His invitation to rise to my feet...praising my Abba Father that His love can outmatch me and His pursual of me will never cease.

Ephesians 3:14-20

For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height––to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.  Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.