Drivers Permit

Initially written a year ago & still true today...

           I don't know how on earth parents, for decades, have done this.  This past week my oldest, redesigned her bedroom-Bohemian Chic, no less, got braces, and received her drivers permit.  She has a drivers permit!?!  And the craziest part is that she has to drive for 75 hours, before she can get a license. We had quite a hilarious incident this weekend, that left me almost positive, 75 hours of driving with me will be impossible.

          We live on a circle.  It is a one-way road that 10 houses are build around.  I do not know if there is a set direction that we are supposed to enter and exit, everyone sort of does their own thing.  Most of the time, that motto works, but it failed us this weekend.

I was driving Emma home from swim practice, and as we pulled into our neighborhood, I told her, she could take us up the road, to our house.  Excitedly, she jumped at the chance to put her new learners permit to use and I figured, "What the heck!  Let's throw caution the the wind!  Let our hair down and try something seemingly safe and appropriately thrilling!"  We went through driver safety protocol: move seat forward✓, put on seatbelt✓, adjust mirrors✓, and learn where the gas pedal and brake are located and that the right foot does all the work while the left just chills out✓.  She seemed good and she put the car in drive and we started to gently coast forward.  She choose to go clockwise around the circle, because it makes for an easier entrance in to our driveway✓.  We were just up the hill when my neighbors truck full of tree branches came down the road towards us.  She stopped, and in unison we both said, "Shoot!" and then "Are you kidding me?"  Suddenly I went into mom brain mode and had a thousand thoughts/fears/questions all at once.  Does he see us?  Will he back up?  He should back up!  Should I have her drive through the grass?  Are there any mailboxes in the way?  I could try and have her pull into someone's driveway.  Then, with impeccable timing, the only driveway we had to pull into was suddenly occupied by the homeowners and their two giant dogs out for a walk!  They are never go on walks!?!  I could have her back up.  Is there anything we can hit?  Jim's new mailbox is close to us.  We could change places, but she has no pants on!  Just a swim suit, a t-shirt, and tennis shoes.  She can't get out in front of all these people with no pants on!  Whose idea was this?

          Within seconds, I go for the backing up idea.  Introduce the reverse gear.  And with building trepidation I tell her to "Gently, back it up."  She puts a little more muscle into the gas than I expected, and the next thing I know I am stress shouting "Brake! Brake!"  Addie, meanwhile, my commentary expert and family documenter extraordinaire is videoing our whole adventure.  We were all laughing so hard, we were crying.  We switched seats, with my neighbors and their dogs all in plain sight, and I backed us up like a boss and we proceeded onto the counter-clockwise route.  These were her first moments as a driver.  All we needed to make our adventure complete was a UPS truck to roll up on us and some Midwest weather.

           God never ceases to amaze me with the lessons he teaches me through raising my kids.  With Emma driving, we have entered into a whole new realm of trust.  The older our kids get, the more freedom they have and the bigger responsibility their choices hold. We could make her ride a bicycle for the rest of her life, but the reality is, as her parents, we have to loosen the reigns of control.  As Emma grows up, she will exercise more and more of her own free will.  The older she gets, the more she calls the shots.  I am amazed by a Heavenly Father who created us and then gave us the choice to mess up, find our way, live and learn, and make our own choices.

           One of the many ways my Heavenly Father is different from me, is that in his sovereignty, he doesn't run through a thousand questions, concerns and thoughts when I am faced with a dilemma.  He doesn't freak out or have blood pressure that shoots through the roof, when I come to a crossroads.  There are countless times where God could stress-shout at me, "Brake! Brake!," but instead I put a lead foot on the gas, and go blistering forward haphazardly.  Too confident I become a little wild and a lot out of control.  Other times,  I choose to hit the brake, when I shouldn't.  Perhaps, he is calling me to move forward in faith and instead my foot finds the safety and control of the brake, with faithless whispers of, "That's too fast, too scary. I feel out of control."  The one who is Faithful and True, He is ever steadfast, remains, cool, calm and collected and ever present as the best passenger seat driver this leaner's permit girl could ever need.

           We have driven together a few times since our initial driving experience, with her pants on and on the regular roads.  I often find myself wishing I hand one of those handy brakes on the passenger side, the ones the Driver's Education cars have.  That way I could "help" Emma out when needed.  God gently reminds me, 'Teach her to drive without you getting in the way.  Speak words of truth to get her from here to there safely.  Equip her for the roads ahead.  Have her look to the left and to the right before she pulls forward.  Remind her to spend less time looking in her rear view mirror and more on the road set before her.  Pot holes will come up, storms will rattle her, and other drivers can throw her off course.  Be ready.  Know who is in your blind spot.  Be attentive to signals, road signs, and warnings.  Merging is a part of driving, don't go about it too slowly or too quickly.  No need to get to the speed limit as fast as you can.  Always wear your seat belt.  Don't drive if you are too tired.'

             I used to let Emma pick out what night gown she wanted to wear to bed, and now I am letting her choose whether or not she will obey the speed limit.  Parenting is baby steps-car seats, booster seats, drivers permit, drivers license.  I must heed my own advise and look less in the rear view mirror and more at the road ahead.  Everyday my kids grow up a little more.  They don't' need me less, they just need me differently.

            God is my perfect Drivers Education teacher in parenting.  He is God El Deah-the God of knowledge. He is Yaweh Raah-the Lord is my Shepard.  He is Yaweh Shammah-the Lord is There.
My ultimate goal is to raise them to know that God desires "More of him and less of us (John 3:30)."
I love the lessons God teaches me about himself through raising my precious people.  Those lessons are humbling, and the truest reminders, that His perfect love covers my imperfections.

Joshua 1:9 

"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  

Do not be afraid; do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."