Bullseye

Today I made a classic life memory.  Some people's life memories are finishing a marathon, or completing a triathlon, taking a trip to Costa Rica or having a surprise birthday party thrown for them.  I have had some really good life memories, but today memory takes the cake for the category, Life Memory I Never Thought I Would Make (in a bad way).  

Several days ago, Brian and I went on a date to Target (you read that right).  That's where middle aged people, with 5 kids, who live in the midwest and have been trapped in their home because of a ice storm go on dates.  We bought dog food, 2 mascaras, a beat box pillow case for Nehemiah, pinto beans for taco salad, and a french vanilla coffee creamer.  Then, because I told him it would make my day, we took a stroll through the outer perimeter of the store.  He only said yes, because I promised not to try on any clothes and I promised our cart would not see any more items put into it (that, and the Dollar Spot are the two greatest challenges of Target).  It was enjoyable to experience the store through Brian's virgin Target eyes.

After we teamwork the self-checkout, I asked him if I could apply for a job at Target using their in-store application system.  I have been asking to apply for several years, so my request didn't come as a surprise.  Kansas has been lonely for me and Target has been one of the few places where I come into contact with other people and I enjoy talking to the checkout people.  Life has interesting twists and turns and the fact that I just typed that last sentence and shared it out loud, is one of my life's unexpected twists and realities, but there you have it:)  Back to my life memory.  Together, we applied me to Target.  It was the perfect ending to our middle-aged Midwest date.  

A few days went by, when I received a call back from their Human Resources department.  I called back the next day and spoke with Kevin.  He was cordial, young, and slightly meek in tone.  He told me that I didn't call back fast enough and that they were reviewing other applicants. Slightly caught off guard, and meek in tone myself, I thanked Kevin and hung up the phone.   After letting his words sit for 30 or so seconds, I decided to give Kevin a call back.  Perhaps another Target had an opening available.  I called, pushed "0" for operator and got Kevin from the HR department again.  I reminded him of who I was, asked for further clarity about the hiring process, and if there were other Targets, in the area, that I could apply to.  Kevin gave my file another glance and put it gently, "The Target Team reviewed your application and had decided you weren't a good fit to be a Target Team Member at this time."  Shocked by my new title, in addition to wife, mother, UCLA graduate, former USA Swim Team member, High School teacher and Lifestyle Photographer was, Non-Target Team Member. 

I regrouped like the champion that I am.
I said, "So why did the team feel like I was not a good fit?"

I couldn't believe I had just entered myself into the ring for Round #1 of why Target declined to hire me.  But here I was, about to go toe-to-toe with Kev.  He said, "Well, looking at your file, you applied for retail and shelf stocking and you don't have any listed experience for either."  Huh? Stock shelving experience, what?  Not moved by his explanation, cue bell for Round #2, I asked, "As a current Target Team Member, could you please help me in my professional growth and give me some guidance.  Where should I start to gain the experience needed to reapply here in the future?"  I said, in so many words, I had envisioned "Retail at Target" as the woman in the dressing room who gives me the number for how many items I have to try on, or the other gal in the dressing room, who is folding and hanging up the clothes that some teeny-bopper left on the floor in the dressing room.  I asked Kevin genuinely and politely, "How much experience is needed for that type of work and where should I get that type of experience?"
He said, in an honest and helpful voice, "You could try and start at a store like K-Mart (are those even in existence any more?) or Wal-Mart (I gagged in my mouth)."
I had been KO'ed.
I told him thank you, but I wasn't so sure if I lacked the experience for Target to hire me, why either of those other two stores would be willing to take a chance on me.  I continued to familiarize Kevin with my sparkling credentials, stating that, while I didn't have retail or stocking experience, I have spent the last 15 years being a mom, and I have stocked my shelves (a lot) and picked out and hung up my kids clothes for over a decade.  For goodness sakes, I pushed two human beings out of my body in 15 minutes.  I'm a stud.  Confident, I campaigned further, stating I was a great person, with lovely people skills, a hard work ethic, was a capable learner, and I would be a huge asset to any Target Team.  After all, I have been trolling and strolling through the aisles of Target since Kevin was probably born.
Like most stay-at-home moms, Costco and Target are my home away from homes.  

I know their aisles like the back of my hand.  Randy, who looks and talks like an Elvis impersonator, from cashier aisle #15 is my go-to checker.  Kevin! Let me work for you! 

He mumbled something under his breath about something, I was employing a mom version of selective listening, and while he was mumbling I was visually going through the 100's of workers I had met at Target over the years.  And I was perplexed at my current state of rejected affairs.  As an experienced Target shopper, I was fully aware that a good portion of their Team Members were half my age, some of my husbands players are managers for Target.  Things weren't adding up and the more Kevin spoke and the more I spoke, the more and more the D1, mom of 5, wife of a football coach started coming out.  Kevin was outmatched.  I was back in the ring.  I could hear his young meek voice trying to interject on the other side of the line.  I was undeterred.  So, after my two cents were politely put on the table, he said, "Ma'm, I see what you are saying.  Perhaps the team will meet again and review your application.  I will let you know what they say."  Okay.  Great Kevin, after you clock out tonight, you will drive your 20 something-year-old bum home to your mom and dad's house and tell them you didn't hire a 41 year-old mom and college graduate to work the dressing room or stock the shelves because she lacked experience.  Ugh.

Oh dear, did I shed a tear or two after my conversation with Kev.  I didn't think applying to Target would result in such humiliation.  I had already gone as far as to envision the red sweater and tan pants I would wear to work.  I called Brian a short while after my meltdown.  He dropped a few cuss bombs and a few jokes and we laughed.  I don't know if Target will be our middle-aged date night spot any longer.... as it is definitely not a bullseye for this Willmer Team Member. 

(Lindsay, not a Target Team Member...

but yet so good as soooooo many other non-paying things 😀)