Softball + Slurpees = Good Parenting

Five months ago we embarked on a new adventure, uncharted athletic waters- we signed up for softball.  Tired of sports that don't keep score, or where every athlete gets a trophy, or sports where everyone does a "great job" even if it was a really bad job, Brian and I welcomed the world softball.  3 strikes and you are out.  Drop a fly ball and it's an error.  Over throw 1st base and that accident can easily lead to an infield home run. 

At first, our kids were in love with the fun glitter spray and ribbon filled bows for their hair, the cheers from the dugout, and the after game snacks. We decided that when they cried more over a snack without a drink included or orange wedges instead of Cheez-its, that we needed to make some changes and up the competitive ante.  We did what all good parents do....we made some goals and then bribed them to achieve those goals with a reward.  During the day the girls and I talked about their goals.  Addie decided that to hit 2 out of 3 pitches off the coach (meaning no tee) would be a good start.  Her prize would be one of those obnoxiously colored Slurpees at Target (she has dreamed of having a Slurpee for years).  Emma made the goal to get a single off the pitcher (not the coach pitch) would be a great start. Her prize would be a book of her choosing.
Little did I know, daddy was making his own deals with his ball players.   

Now Brian has helped coach Emma's team, so he has a little more invested in Emma's goal.  Her new goal became to hit a home run and when she did, he would buy her dinner at In & Out.  Home run?  Huh?  The first time she scored a run, she came running over to him at the dugout shouting about In & Out.  "I did it!  I scored a home run!" All her teammates were confused, they all know what a home run is and knew she didn't just score one.  After wiping the tears away, once the truth sunk in, she became determined.  Emma had spent the beginning of the season getting a lot of coach pitches and a lot of RBI's, but then halfway through the season she started struggling at knowing when to swing the bat.  At her level, the girls pitch, until there is a runner on 3rd base and there are 3 balls-then the coach comes in to finish out the count.  She wouldn't swing at good pitches, but then would swing for the fences on the pitches that were 4 feet above her head or pitches that had the ball rolling on the ground.  A few times, she swung after the ball hit the catcher's mitt. The ump would give out a saddened, "strrrrike!"  So, the goal setting came right at the perfect time for her.

At the next game, following the home run confusion, she only had one at bat and she was walked by the fastest pitcher in her league. In her words, "I just stared right back at her with my 'I'm not afraid of you eyes,'  and wasn't scared of her one bit. I wanted to get a piece of one of those balls."  We took that as a huge victory.  The next game, she whacked it off the pitcher and got a 2 run-double.  She snagged a few walks in there too.  

Then at the next game, things got very exciting.  She hit a single, but when the ball was overthrown at first, she was yelled at to "keep running, keep running!"  

She bolted from 1st.  She rounded 2nd.  

Headed for 3rd.  

And given the wave through, she rounded 3rd for home. 

Eyes on the prize. 

Little legs moving at a frantic, frenzied speed.  

Blue polka-dotted hair ribbons flowing out from underneath her her helmet.  

The dugout was going nuts. 

7 and 8 year old girls can scream loudly when their teammate is about to score an infield home run.  

All I could see was her little mind chanting, "In & Out, In & Out, In & Out." 

Was this it? 

Was this, the impossible, about to happen? 

My kid, who 2 months ago didn't even know that it took 4 balls to get walked, 

was she going to do the unimaginable? 

No lie, 1 foot before home plate, the catcher caught the ball and with a glove full of ball and a resounding thud to the chest, tagged her out.... Bummer. 

I asked her dad later, why she kept running. I'm a "play it safe" kind of girl, "you get what you get and you don't get upset" kind of girl.  I revel in the realistic.  My husband is not of that mold.  He said to me, "I told her to run through. I wanted her to go for it....sometimes, you just have to gamble."  

My response, "You gamble on other people's kids not your own!"  We laughed.  

Emma was a champ and the next game geared herself out with her softball pants (not shorts). She said, "Mommy, this way I can slide if I need to."  Girl, deck yourself out, if that means sliding to safety and winning yourself some In & Out.  She did hit off the pitcher and the coach, batted in a few runs and we called that achieving mommy's goal.  She got her reward and her daddy took her to In & Out, for being willing to gamble.

 

Addie played in her last game of the softball season.  Not only did she get all three of her hits off the pitch, but she also got to finish off the season as the "3rd basement."  She came up to me after the game saying, "Mom, did you see me? I was hitting some bombs out there!"  

She gave me a proud & powerful high-five accompanied by, "Do I get a Slurpee on the way home?"

Softball has been great, not just for the rewards given and joyfully received, but because of so many of those lessons that don't come easily....My Emma had to make the walk back to the dugout alone with her bat and fought through tears of feeling down.  She got tagged out at home plate-twice.  She got to comfort teammates after they made an error-usually with some silly twirl in the outfield that would make them laugh (they are only 7 & 8, after all).  No trophies or certificates for participation-only for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place. Addie got to play catcher.  She had more balls whiz by her or hit her in the chest, than balls that made it into her glove.  They chewed Big League Chew in the dugout with their teammates. And in her first playoff game last night, Emma got to hear her fellow Royal Crushers cheer her on at 3rd base, "Emma we miss you, we're running out of tissue, come home, come home."  With 2 outs, she scored the tie run in a game they won on the next hit.

Crossing home plate has never felt so good.