The dentist


Today Brian took a trip to the dentist for a deep cleaning, which is apparently quite the experience. I don't like the dentist and frankly I would rather run really far & for a long time, than have my teeth cleaned, let alone "deep" cleaned. Brian suffers from soft teeth. He and Emma went together (she got her first cavity-she has soft teeth too the dentist said, just bad luck I guess). The appointment lasted a really long time. I was hoping Emma was hanging in there, when our phone rang. Brian's cell number popped up.
I answered, "Hello?"
On the other end, "Hi mom."
Me: "Hey, how did it go? Where's daddy?"
Solemn reply, "It went okay. Daddy can't be on the phone right now b/c he is talking funny."
Oh dear.
I don't think he had Novocaine in mind for this trip. Once they got home he walked in the door and smiled with only the top part of his face.

I gave a little giggle, "Are you okay?"
"Yethf."
Now unfortunately for him, I am one of those people who find humor in the oddest of things, anybody (including myself) tripping, facial expressions (ie Motezuma's Revenge), and apparently the talking that follows Novocaine. I couldn't help, but giggle a little more loudly.
We carried on with the evening and we tried to talk as I picked up the living room, but I soon found myself saying, "What?" alot. He'd try to say whatever he was saying again, but only with more volume and more force. Which only rendered a louder more forceful, "WHAT?" from me. Finally, he said, I think he said, "Nether mindth, I can'th ethen underthstand myselth."

Both laughing, me hysterically, we moved on, he to the kitchen to help with dinner and I stayed in the family room to feed baby #1. A few minutes later I heard him lisping/slurring orders to Addie. I only wish you could have been a fly on the wall to witness this verbal display of excellence. From my comfy, out of sight, spot on the sofa, I heard something like, "Addthie, put thesth forths on the tablth." Addie replies, "What?" "Addthie, I saidth, putf thesth forths & playths on the tablth!" Addie who doesn't mince words or the delivery of them, replies with the volume & clarity her father could only dream of, "What Daddy? What are you saying to me? I can't hear you!! You sound like you are talking with all kinds of food in your mouth!! Can you stop talking like that?!" From the other room, Brian hears the crying laughter of his beloved bride. He man ups and tries again. "Addthie! The forths! Puth them onth the tablth rightf nowf!" She matches his intensity, "Daddy, please, what are you saying? You sound like your mouth is full!...I just don't get it?" The poor thing has no idea what Novocaine is or how it feels, can't blame her confusion, she truly had no idea why he wasn't fixing his voice. I, on the other hand, tears streaming down my face, couldn't stop laughing at the whole exchange. Novocaine talking is bad, but angry Novocaine talking is something else, let me tell you.

Dinner was awesome. Lots of dripping from the mouth and random pieces of rice unknowingly stuck to his lips. Although, by this time, the kids knew Daddy's mouth & lips were asleep, so, they gave him grace, but still managed to giggle just a little along with their mom.
Next week he goes back to get the top half of his teeth "deep" cleaned.

Oh dearf.

Stay tuned...

Comments

Tira J said…
Oh how funny!!! Guess he is super sensitive to Novocaine! Can't wait to hear about him on the bike! hee hee
Shannon said…
OMG, I made the mistake of reading this while on the phone w/ my mother (who was droning on and on about somethin') ... I bust out laughing as I read. Uhhh, oops.

SOOOO funny, Lindsay. HAHAHAAA. :D
Shannon said…
I just reread it and LOL'd again. You wrote it brilliantly - I can totally "hear" how the conversation sounded. I would totally have been like you - laughing so hard I'm crying. I love it.

Oh, and I'm with you on the tripping thing ... any sort of trip/fall scenario and I'm DONE. Have to find a hole to crawl in and hide, 'cuz I WILL LAUGH MY HEAD OFF. It's terrible, really ... and if I'm clearly not supposed to laugh, I get nervous, so I laugh harder. It's a sickness. But a funny one.

Ay.
Lindsay said…
Love it Shannon! I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I wouldn't care if you laughed at me tripping either-I'm versatile like that :)
gaga said…
....what a hilarious fhspt!!
I thfed it!!
Love, mom
gaga said…
Hey Linds,
...what a great pfolg!!...it was tfhirfous to read!!
love, mom
Anonymous said…
thoooo, whath happngin withthh the thoft teef now? Doth Brian feel better now?

Love Aunt D
I love your posts. So funny!! Hard to picture big macho Brian talking like a drunk fairy. Next time YouTube it :)