The Oven

Last week, I spent some time roaming the isles of Home Depot, while my bike was being fixed nearby.  I made at stop at the paint section (my favorite), the lumber yard (a close second favorite), and even over to the lighting isles.  After a while, I decided to take a stroll over to the appliances.  I really never spend any time there.  I have only purchased one item from there in my entire life, so, I never think to really pay this section much attention.  This day, I indulged.  I went straight to the ovens and ranges.  I let my eyes gaze over the large burners and the frequent griddle/middle burner too.  I touched the dials and gave them a spin.  I even went so far as to open up several oven doors.  I took in the size, the depth, and the width.  It was wonderful.  You see, my current stove is original to the house, which is a cool thing when your home is a 1920's Craftsman style home with beautiful everything, from vent covers, to wooden built-ins.  However, I live in a sweet 1960's rental home, with miss-matched kitchen cupboard doors, a sink that looks full after one kiddo has put their cereal bowl in it, drawers that don't close, and an oven that makes an Easy Bake oven feel good about itself!  The oven works, praise God, but it doesn't even fit a normal-sized cookie sheet and even the smallest turkey will not fit into it on Thanksgiving Day.  Heart sadness.  So there I stood, in front of the Samsung 30" Self-cleaning Gas Convection Range with a 5.8 cubit feet oven capacity.  It was shiny and so competent. There has been a hefty amount of sacrifice to get where I stand.  Some much hurt for all 7 of the Willmer's has invaded a good number of our last years.  We have each been pressed in on all sides.  I'm married to a man who saw the desperation in his kid's eyes, and that of his wife's heart, and he left everything to get us to the home we live in now.  His life was first upended by our hurt, and now upended by his own.  I have never been more thankful for a home, because our home, while, not ours and not good looking, holds my family, covers our heads, keeps us close, gives us a place to laugh and cry, pray and watch football.  I am so thankful.  So thankful.

So, as I stood there, without an ounce of envy or coveting, I heard God say to my sweet mother/wife/hostess heart, "I know.  Someday, someday."  I knew it beautifully.  He sees me.  He knows my heart.  He knows my purest of servant intentions.  God has been painfully quiet these past 2 years, and I know there is purpose in his quiet, but I am so thankful for the intimate whispers He delivered to my heart as I stood there in the appliance section of Home Depot.  The longings of my heart, in this instance, were given to His.

For as long as I can remember, ovens have been one of the secret weapons of a home.  I knew from the get-go of my marriage, my oven would become one of my greatest tools.  When looking to buy or rent a home, it is always the first thing I size up.  I want to know if I will be able to cook and host.  A home isn't a home to me unless it is filled (and I mean filled), with people.  I don't care who they are or where they come from, how old they are, or what they sound or look like.  Come into my home and I will love you and feed you.  I will invite you to sit down and I'll cook for you.

I remember one Thanksgiving in Kansas.  We had a large crowd this particular year, close to 30 family members, coaches and football players.  I had used both ovens, and all 5 burners on my stovetop.  There was so much delicious food.  The spread covered my countertops and the line went well into the living room to get a plate full.  I remember watching from the kitchen sink as Gwenyth sang with a player next to her a Disney channel tune.  They laughed and laughed.  It was his first Thanksgiving dinner.  He had never had a turkey on Thanksgiving day!  He came from a rough neighborhood, and a difficult childhood, and had spent several years in prison before God brought him into our lives.  A felon and a child taking sharing a meal, consuming thankfulness.

Last week, after my Samsung sighting and whispers from the Lord, we hosted Addie's XC team.  To be honest, when I signed up to host, I knew we would be in the house we were in, dead grass, small stove, hard to swallow bathroom sinks and all, but I did think Brian would have a job.  We have been "out of sorts" in ways that the world value's and struggling to be "in sorts" with what God is begging and pleading our lives to know.  It has been humbling, lonely, scary, and rich, all at the same time.  Together, the Willmer's did what we do best, we opened our doors, cooked up a storm, and fed 45 high school kids.  Several of them said the moment they walked in, "I love your house!"  and "This is the best house we have been to because it feels so much like a home" and "No one has cooked this much food for us!"  Addie, who is a wee bit concerned about what others would think of our tight living quarters, was told over and over again the next day by her teammates, that the dinner at our house was their favorite.  The kids came back for thirds and fourths.  My Easy-Bake got the job done in fine fashion, and my Heavenly Father fed 5, 000 with 2 fish and 5 small loaves of bread.  It felt good to be His hands and feet, doing one of the things He created me to do.  We will put to use whatever He places at our disposal, all for Him and all for His glory.  Find us faithful, O LORD.

For now, our 1960's rental home is home.  I am thankful and going nuts every time I have to cut a Costco pizza in two, just to fit in into my oven.  And in the meantime, "Someday, someday" is an aroma to my heart, because I know God sees this daughter of His and He knows I will be faithful no matter what oven I use to feed His people.